Better luck next time

I did it... I peed on a stick this morning. Aunt Flo is due today or tomorrow and I just couldn't wait. I'd rather steel myself before her arrival than be ambushed. 


So, I peed on a stick and it was.... negative. 


Might as well hurry up and get here, Flo...let's get this over with. The only bright side is that I can now drink whatever I want on my birthday. It's a hollow prize however, since I'd much rather celebrate by thinking about a little life growing in my belly. 


Okay, so my 20's wasn't my fertile decade. Maybe I'll have better luck in my 30's. If that's the case I can't wait to bid adieu to my 20's. Just a few more days and I can leave this wretched decade of my life behind. 


Sure there were good moments, but the really momentous happy moments were relegated to my early 20's - college, wedding, new house, new puppy. Then I hit 25 and things drastically changed - my mom's death, infertility. I never expected my life to be perfect but I never knew I would bear such heavy grief before I hit 30. I know there are millions of people much worse off than me and I am truly thankful for the comfortable life that I live, but I can't help wondering why I can't just be granted one simple wish... why are so many babies born to those who don't even want them when I have the ability to provide a healthy, loving home for a child? 


It's maddening! As is awaiting my impending guest. C'mon, Flo. I'm armed and ready, bring it!