Sunday, March 10, 2013

!!!!

A strange thing happened the other day and I must admit that I am still partially in shock over it. I saw it, the elusive second pink line that I have long sought. Yes, that's right - for the first time in my whole life I held a positive home pregnancy test in my nervous hands. At first I couldn't believe my eyes, but no matter how many times I blinked it was still there. 

Elation struck quickly, coupled with a torrent of happy tears. I sent a multitude of "thank you's" and "please, please, please let this stick" out into the universe. I prayed, I thanked God (and my mom) for sending me this miracle, and I cursed myself for waiting until J had left for work before taking the test. I wish he could have been there to share my joy. Instead, the dog ran circles around me as I freaked out. At least I had someone to celebrate with. (The cat didn't seem to much care about my jubilation). 

Since that day I have taken three more tests and they have also been positive. J and I are excited, scared, joyful and terrified all at once. I am only six weeks pregnant and there is no guarantee that this will result in a healthy baby. I am trying not to be anxious and trying to stay optimistic, but that's easier said than done. 

The same thoughts keeping running through my head:

This is real, this is really real!

and

Please, please, please let this result in a healthy baby. I am so ready to meet our firstborn!